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Ask a Stupid Question,get a stupid answer!

Do your parents make you homeschool?

-Yes, they chain me up in a deep, dank basement and force me to learn independently.

-Yes, they do. In my heart of hearts, I really *want* to spend 6 hours a day in a stuffy classroom filled with stupid people, listening to a rude and irrational teacher rant incessantly.

-No, I make them homeschool me.

Do you have any friends?

-Friends? We don't need no steenkin friends!

-Yes, let me introduce you to my pal Harvey. Say hello, Harvey.

-No, I'm a misanthrope sociopath who would rather die a thousand deaths than be socialized normally.

-How do you meet people?

-I have found that painting myself blue and running through the streets screaming is a very effective way to meet people.

-I go to a playgroup!

-Actively seeking out human companionship is illogical.

Do you get graded?

-I grade myself. I am very proud of myself for maintaing my 4.0 GPA.

-Grades are determined each semester by a coin toss.

-Grades? What are those?

How do you know what to do without a teacher telling you?

-I am omniescent.

-I visit the library and pick books at random. Those books then become my curriculum for that semester. Last semester, I studied alternative physics, macamre, tomato growing, and plot flaws in Star Trek the Next Generation episodes.

-The little green aliens who live under my desk tell me what to do.

How do you remember to work without a teacher nagging you?

-I'm a very bossy person, and therefore I get on my nerves all the time by nagging myself to do homework.

-Why would I need to be nagged? I love doing algebra homework!

-I bribe myself. Whenever I finish a homework assignment, I give myself a gold star or a cookie.

Is homeschooling legal?

-No. In fact, you could even be arrested for aiding and abbeting a criminal just by talking to me!

-Yes. The government wants as many of us smartaleck, self motivating brats out of their high schools as possible.

-No. We live in a dictatorial police state where being different is punishable by death.

Do you like homeschooling?

-No. I hate it. I wish I were dead!

-Dude, I love homeschooling. In fact, I love everything. Peace and Love, man.

-Not particularly. I tolerate homeschooling only because the alternative is so horrendous.

Are you going to homeschool your kids?

-With any luck, my offspring will be born on an asteroid colony, where homeschooling is the only viable means of education.

-What kids?

-Certainly! In fact, my children will undergo an accelerated education, so that they are ready for college classes by the age of 10.

You must be pretty smart to homeschool, huh?

-Actually, my intelligence level is below normal. I have simply aquired an immense vocabulary through memorization, which often fools humans into believing that I am more intelligent than I actually am.

-I am a super genius, and my superior intellect allows me to take full advantage of non traditional methods of education.

-Duh, what?


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